Reflecting on Friendship Month!

I officially declare May to be Friendship Month on this blog.
Google search tells me that technically, International Friendship Month is February...but I don't care...one doesn't need specific times or excuses for Friendship...spontaneity is key to an interesting friendship...

So yeah...all of May, I hope to post a new piece each day, from one of my friends who have contributed.
Some pieces are already rolling in so get on your scooters if you're slacking and do help out! It'd be fantastic if I *could* actually reach my target of one per day...(and hopefully...more...if all my victi..er...friends lend a hand)

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Well...this (the title) is one of the most common questions people ask themselves when they are part of an unpleasant incident.
A logical fallacy in itself, the problem here lies in the inherent assumption - that you *are* a good person - when you are wallowing in self pity... How many people can honestly call themselves good people? Would people be interesting, in the first place, if they were pristine and pure in all totality?
I dunno...maybe I sound a little cynical here but personally, it's a conceit to say that one is all good.

Having said all of that...and working off the assumption that there *is* perhaps some merit in asking...'why do bad things happen to good people?'...I got thinking a little.

Perhaps bad things happen to bad people but good things happen to good people. Bad things happening to you may reflect inherently on your badness (which you may not be aware of). So...consequently...can I assume that I'm a good person? Since good things happened to me... Sure there were a couple of days of "nothing" but other than my house keys and my phone...I have gotten everything else back. So that's...good.

Then again, a debater might point out...If bad things happen to good people, good things happening to me might indicate I'm a bad person!
Hah...I'm certainly no angel...nor am I some sort of terrible deviant...

It's funny though...reflecting on the whole incident.
There are so many times, when someone might face a similar situation, that one hopes for things to be found/returned etc etc.
I'd accepted and decided that I would get nothing back, that I would not feel upset about this and that I would move on.
The power of not hoping...actually worked... Is this reverse psychology?
Make no mistake...I was not feeling hopeless at any point of time...but the "School of Nothing" advocates the use the "a" prefix... no suffixes. It would mean...devoid of...not lacking in. I realise that sounds a little similar...but think about it. It's not... Not hopeless. Not antipathetic... Not uncaring... Just...apathetic...but without the negative connotation. It's not like I didn't care but I was OK...expressing huge emotions was not going to get my bag back... so I cut off emotions, pathos, entirely.
If I had not gotten my bag back, things were OK. I felt nothing.
Now that I *do* have my bag back...I'm feeling good. Happy.

Here we go again...Happiness and Nothing. There might actually be some merit in this.
Do tell me if you ever try this and it works for you...

The Finale!

My bag...has been found.

As I mentioned in the last post, I got a message from Mr. Joshi that along with my insurance papers, other stuff was found as well.

It had my ID card for college! Another headache saved! My bike keys...

No house keys or phone though.
However, other than that, I have everything back...(except for my highlighter and sunscreen...)

Woo!

This opens up an entirely new set of reflections but those shall go up tomorrow!

This *is* the finale...isn't it?

The Aftermath continues...

If you haven't been reading the blog too often and have come across this post without any clue of what the Aftermath is, click here, to get an idea about the background to this post and its story arc.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the last episode, I said:

"Is it over? Who knows...?"

Today we discover the shocking truth!

Is it really over? Or does someone really know?

Stay tuned!

~Theme music plays~
(On an aside...what theme music would you have for this blog? :-P )


Hmm...
The answer...it seems...would be pretty simple.
Apparently, it's not over but not one knows how long this would last.

Today...I got up at 7.15 am and went off to school in a daze, having slept only 5 hours or so...
I got to school and saw that I was stood up by the kids...well...maybe not their fault.
No communication from me and perhaps they figured things would be a bum out if they showed up...

Anyway...mooched around in school for a while and came home.
Had some lunch, watched the cameo of Martha Jones in Torchwood and took a nap.

4.15 pm - I wake up from my nap to catch the early IPL match...

4.40 - the bell rings. I open the door. It's a kid.
He has my insurance papers (for the bike).
He lives in the society next to ours. Apparently the Head of Department for chemistry in SP College found it lying near her office. She saw the name (Joshi) and the address.
She sent it to an acquaintance of hers, working as an accountant at the SPM office.
He's also called Joshi...he lives in the nnext society. It was his kid.

The papers had my name and address on it. He sent his kid to return them.
The only indicator of my address here has been returned to me.

The neighbour guy's contact details were on the envelope. I called to thank him.
He explained that his colleague had found the letter fallen near her office and sent it to him, wondering if it belonged to him.
It gets better.
He asked if I had lost a pouch or something.
I explained the bag situation.
He mentioned that she'd found other things scattered near her office as well and this was the only thing with an address on it.

Thanks to Pandora there is Hope in the world.
I shall go meet this lady on monday...hoping against hope that:
A) She hasn't chucked the things away (which I'm told by my neighbour, there's a slim chance of happening...so that's good)
B) The pouch is actually my sack and it has my college ID card in it.

I've been saved one monumental headache by having recovered my driver's license.
Now if I get my ID card back, I have no administrative paper work to do.
That would be Fan-tastic!

Like I said...hoping against hope...

Point to ponder: Should I expect/hope for anything at all?
I had accepted (can't really say resigned - that's more sadness than nothing) that I would not see any of my stuff again.
I hadn't hoped for anything back.
In two days, I've got two things back.
If I accept again that I won't get anything else back, would this "pouch" turn out to be my bag with the id in it?
Is my hope a good or a bad thing?
Is even thinking about the hope jinxing the "acceptance"?
Do jinxes exist?
Am I thinking too much?
Am I going crazy? (Well, I've always been a little crazy...so the answer to that is known. No comments on that required, thank you.)

Heh.
My current status: bemused, amused, dazed and amazed. Yet...quite happy.

An Index for the next few posts...

Given the nature of blogger's posting style and my penchance for long ramblings, the next few posts are divided over one incident. If you read it in a linear manner from the top down, nothing will make sense. Not right away, in any case.

Therefore, if you've read all the posts vertically above this one and have now reached here...I give you links for the few posts vertically below this one, for the order in which they are meant to be read

1. April the 24th, 2008 Part I

2. April the 24th, 2008 Part II

3. The Aftermath

A digression: Expand on an idea - Friendship
This post is tied in with occurrences in the incident as a whole and an idea I currently wish to implement on this blog...hopefully some of which you have already read above this post...

Hope all of this makes sense to you.

Have fun! And do comment...

April the 25th, 2008 - The Day After OR The Aftermath

April the 25th 2008

After a late night, my alarm goes off at 9 am.
Yesterday's missed classes are scheduled for today.
I get ready. Think about breakfast but have an energy bar. I don't really feel like eating stuff but the body sends hunger signals. So...I satisfy them. Me thinks it's a mixture of the previous day, a late meal and heat...

I get to school...hang about...organise my stuff for the history class and pray that the power is not cut.
It's not.

Come home by about 3.45 - still not feeling like food but more hunger signals...make do with a cup of noodles...
Watch some Torchwood...

5.30 - decide to study. Start reading some notes.

6.15 - the doorbell rings. Somewhat urgently. It's auntie from next door. Apparently mum and her tried calling me but I didn't answer. Didn't hear it, to be honest. I blame the air cooler.

There is a call. From a cousin.
He's found my wallet...
In a garbage heap...
About 5 mins away from the hockey ground, on another playground...

I grab my keys and auntie's phone...go find cousin. He gives me the wallet. It has my credit cards, insurance and loyalty cards. MY DRIVER'S LICENSE! No money. Duh. No phone. Double duh.
I root around the garbage hoping for some sign of my keys or college ID card...No sign.

I thank my cousin and tell him to give me a ring if he any other stuff ends up in the heap...

7.00 pm - I go back to hockey ground and look around trash heaps which I see there...but...that was wishful thinking and it remained as such.

7.30 pm - I come home...studying's out of the question. Go over to auntie's for dinner. Watch an IPL match.

10.00 pm - back I come and it's 2.00 am now...I ought to have been in bed two hours ago...Ultimate and school, both early tomorrow morning (if not the one, definitely the other...no phone anymore...no contact with kids. Let's see if they turn up...)

However...had I not stayed up late...this post would not have been created. It might have become stale by tomorrow. I might have lost motivation and most importantly...YOU would've lost out on the pleasure my amazing writing gives you!

(Yes I think you can guess that the incorrigible me is back. To an extent. Will take a time to return in entirety. Feeling nothing is good. Hollow, yet good...but it does make one a little dull. But...I can live with that!)

The bottom line in all of this is...
Chalk up one more thing in the "Experiences" book.

Is it over? Who knows...?

Reflections on...April the 24th, 2008 Part II

In the previous episode...

2.30 pm - Having covered all possible bases and needing to wait for my copy of the FIR...I head home and to sleep...

And now we continue...

2.50 pm - No phone. No contacts. It's really a bad habit...a cell phone. I'm no longer used to committing phone numbers to memory. I get home...log on...send off an email to people asking for contact numbers...Bug the ones on IM for theirs...
I called my friend BS and asked him when he would be getting home that day.
I required a ride in the evening...my bike was still at my other schoolmate's place with some random dude off with a set of keys...

The entire charade of my bag being lifted...was a little scary in the sense that out of a number of possible bags...only mine went missing. Someone's watchfulness was indicated. If they were willing to use their head so much...might they not try and look for the bike whose number is on the PUC certificate in the wallet?

Another little wriggling niggle at the back of my mind...they have house keys...
The driving license indicates the Mumbai address...no biggie...there's nothing to point them towards the Pune place...is there?
Um...the insurance papers for the bike...
Erk.

Anyway...BS agreed to come pick me up in the evening. 5-ish.

4.00 pm - I go take a nap.

5.15 pm - Sweat, heat and my alarm conspire to wake me up. I decide to get ready to go out again.
The phone rings (landline!) - BS will be late...his mum needs to feed him, lest he eat some street food. (Mothers...)

6.15 pm - BS finally arrives and gives me a ride into town. I go back to the police station. The constable who wrote down my complaint is not around...He's off at a nearby hospital taking the statement of an accident victim. Then he's to report to the main precinct, where he ought to get my number... I am told to come back in an hour.

6.20 pm - BS gives me a ride to the place where my bike is. I go to nearby locksmith. Tell him that I've lost the keys to my bike and that I need a new one made. He decides to extort me. (I think) Oh well...beggars can't be choosers and I'm certainly not letting my bike languish there overnight...what if the fellow *does* actually use his head?

6.55 pm - the new key is made. Locksmiths are scary by the way...I never knew until now that they could randomly make a duplicate version of a key, without having an original to compare and file away from...they can insert keys in locks...they see some sort of markings...not sure what...but they do and they file away et voilá! une clé! Scary...

7. 00 pm - I go up to my friend's house and request a call to my parents in Mumbai. Talk to them. They are OK. I'm OK.
My friend isn't around but I get along with his family. I spend the next hour talking with them and just letting some unknown bottled feelings out. They are not violently repressed. No. I feel nothing. However, it helps to talk and have a sympathetic ear. I really like SC (CA/CS)'s family. They are simple folk and easy to get along with and make me feel comfortable. It's a testament to this that I was offered food, drink, company and conversation even though SC(CA/CS) was not at home...Spent a decent hour at their place...

8.00 pm - I go to the police station again...My constable is still not back...One guy asks me to come back in half an hour.
I hang around. Another guy seems sympathetic. We strike up a conversation and I get some inputs into the current police employment situation. It's not very good...as Pune's traffic indicated. (Which reminds me that I need to post about this).
Eventually, my constable comes back...My interest in the police work and respectful manners (say NO to antagonism) seem to work. I'm actually given as an example to a couple of belligerent scooterists who have an illegal style of license plate - "Look at this young man! He's been here thrice for some work. Is he yelling? You guys haven't been here for three minutes and are creating a fuss!"
My new policeman tells my old constable to find my number for the FIR.
He does...I get it...

8.30 pm - I head home...

The rest of the evening...I watched an IPL match and went to auntie's for dinner. I'd told her that I would call and tell her whether I would come for dinner. I couldn't do that but then we went out for dinner. Visited maternal auntie who was sick...
Came home late.

Thus...while all of this should've been posted yesterday...the day and the ordeal ends now...






Or does it?

Expand on an Idea - Friendship: Authored by Yours Truly

-- Start --

Len Wein said: A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather
be anywhere else. A friend does not complain if he is getting bored or annoyed but still sticks by you when you need him.

I experienced this first hand on the 24^th of April 2008 as I waited in a police station, to file a complaint about a missing bag. I’d dragged a friend along for company. Younger than me, he eventually got quite bugged and bored and fidgety but when I said sorry to him about the situation, he said that it was not a problem. Never once did he actually complain and while I knew exactly where else he would rather be, I’m grateful for his presence as he stuck around with me. I feel blessed to have such friends – though young, yet understanding…and there a few of these hanging around…people I can turn to in times of need and they respond without hesitation and I feel the luckiest person in the world, thanks to them. I hope I get to repay their kindness in some way, whenever that is and that I have the ability and strength to help these marvelous people, if ever should they need it. I hope my memory never fails me with the kindness these people show me and hope that I never have cause to not be there for them. At least not without a damn good reason!

Word count: 241 words


-- End --

Hmm...
This is sort of funny.
I don't pray. My beliefs in god and religion are "off beat" and perhaps controversial, to say the least.
However, if you jump back to that post and look at it...I've mentioned that people who help me can be God for me.
As I wrote the piece above, it felt sort of like a prayer to me. A prayer in thanks. I am thankful for my friends and they help me when needed. They ARE my God.

So now with two things...life seems to be working out.

1) The art of being Zen and feeling nothing - the first successful experience

and

2) God as a helper, God as a caretaker, my friends as God.

I've already mentioned the help of two friends in Part I of the post about April 24th, 2008 and another one will have a small cameo later on as well....

Despite the events of the last couple days, Life feels...good. *smile*

Reflections on...April the 24th, 2008 Part I

So yesterday...was an interesting day...
It went something like follows:


7.10 am - the alarm goes up, I wake up bleary eyed and stumble into the bathroom for the morning rituals...
There is no sense of impending fatefulness at all. In fact, I almost preferred going back to sleep. Perhaps it would've been better that way...But then again, I would've missed on an Experience with a capital E...though some people might wonder if it were an experience worth having...BUT...enough digressing!

7.30 am - I'm almost ready to leave the house for Ultimate...get three missed calls from one of the kids...Three...is a little too many so I call up to ask what's the hurry...turns out he was just wondering if I was awake. I was. Sort of.

7.40 am - I finally leave the house, after having a small snack and having gathered enough of my wits around me to drive...

7.50 am - I arrive at the hockey ground where we play, park my bike at my friend's house and stroll over where the kids are. They are playing football...I settle down and wait for them to finish.

8.00 am - The kids have wound up, teams are formed and we decide that it's time for the game to start. Off we go...bags on the benches where we usually leave them and the disc flies.

8.30 am - It's a poor game for my side...2-1 up, we trail 2 - 6 eventually and not having said how many points to win...we decide to take a time out for a drink. I randomly stroll about...don't drink too much in the sun...wondering if there would be water left in my bottle for me eventually...the kids usually manage to polish off my bottle...
For some reason I go near the benches...my bag is missing...

This. Is. Not. Fun.

I ask the kids if they're playing some sort of joke. They say they are not. I believe them. They are good kids and regular ones...

8.30 am to 8.50 am - We hunt around, we ask the security guards (they're supremely useless anyway and would not have been useful in the least here but hey! leave no stone unturned...)
The guards have no clue.
The bag is not seen.
We try to ring my phone.
A) It's out of coverage area.
B) It rings and the call is rejected.
C) It's switched off.
This cycle continues...

8.50 am - I go to check if my bike is still in place...my bike keys were in that bag, as were the house keys, my phone (as already mentioned) and my wallet... Joy.

8.55 am - I check on my bike. It's still there. I go back to the kids to see a couple of new arrivals. Luckily, Frankie is there...he has a scooter. I call my parents...tell them the situation. Ask that the credit cards be blocked...
Frankie agrees to drive me home...

[I'd invited Frankie over for breakfast, the previous evening but this was NOT how I had intended it to be. Heh.]

9.10 am - Frankie gives me a ride home. I collect the spare key from auntie next door and come home. Take a shower.
Call !dea Cellular. Report the theft. Block my sim card.
There's a way to track the thief perhaps...If I can find the EMEI number of my cell phone, the last call made can be tracked. I call Mumbai to ask for it. BUT...for once someone bothered to clean my room and the box which had been sitting at a table by the head of my bed for over 18 months...is no longer there...chucked out by mum a little while ago. (Of course)

9.40 am - Some amount of sanity(?) prevails. Breakfast time. Auntie has made some पोहे.

How am I feeling? I am feeling nothing. (Refer to the chat log in that linked post)
A little dazed. A little at a loss for things to do or so. However, mostly nothing.
How does nothing feel? Honestly, it feels a little hollow. However, there's also a slight serenity and cold empty order to it.
Overall, it's a much better option than subjecting yourself to the misery that anger, sadness or guilt bring.
All of those were options in this case:
A) Why did this happen to me, damnit?!
B) Why oh why did this happen to me? Oh woe!
C) I wonder if there is something I could've done to stop this from happening? (Only if I were clairvoyant...)

None of those options would get my bag back. So why bother?

So yes...10.00 am and I'm feeling nothing - possibly the closest to Zen that I would ever get.

10.10 am - Frankie's dropped me off at the local police station with jurisdiction over the hockey ground.
I go in to file an FIR (First Information Report). I am told that the guy who is authorised to do that...is not yet in/not around. Go figure...

This place is three minutes from school, by foot, so I decide to go in and report what's up. I had a class at 11.20. My head was not working and I was not sure I would get back in time to be able to engage it...

As I leave a message for the teacher whose class I would cover, I run into one of my other kids...more a friend and definitely a darling! Mr. P! He's around to meet the supervisor, hoping to have a look at his final exam papers.
She's not around...I ask him to give me company. He agrees. It's a nice way to spend some time together. He's an interesting fella but we don't seem to get to talk too much.

10.35 am - We reach the police station. The gentleman who can file FIRs is around. I go to him. I tell him what happened - "Someone pinched my bag as we played on the ground." He starts blustering. How could I say that someone stole it when I didn't put it under lock and key? Had I asked anyone to keep an eye on it? What sort of irresponsible fellow was I?

I had decided to go into this with more Zen like nothingness and a decision to agree to whatever they said and nod along. The key to getting work done is letting these guys talk and not antagonise them. I nodded along and went on saying: "Yes Sir."

10.45 am to 12.15 pm - It took one and a half hour for me to get my complaint filed. I am afraid I bored Mr. P a bit by dragging him along but he's a marvelous fellow and he gets a small "expansion of idea on friendship" piece dedicated to him as a result.
However, the 90 minutes were not without amusement and learning...

He took the same information from me (about what was lost in that bag) three times before he finally decided to write it all down on some official paper...
During this time, I had to listen to a lot of bluster and blather over being responsible and well educated and this and that.

[Make no mistake...I've learned what I needed to from losing the bag in the first place but that was repeated all over again in a rural accent and I had to nod through it. Well, I was feeling nothing and therefore Zen and there was also my decision about appearing recalcitrant. I couldn't understand half of what he was saying due to his accent but I wasn't annoyed either...In fact I had to bite my tongue a couple of times to keep from laughing at him...]

Of the things I observed during this time...

A) Having decided not to argue or antagonise the fellow, eventually he started slowing down with the bluster and got around to business. When I told him all the things which I had in my bag, he asked me why I carried so much stuff. I told him that well...one does not expect to have one's bag pinched every day and these things were necessary as means of identification and aids in an emergency. I mentioned that I would not have bothered him with something trivial if only one or two things had gone missing. At this point he was gracious(?) enough to say that it was not a bother and it was part of his job. The tone in which he said it seemed to indicate that my lack of an "attitude" seemed to mollify him and he wasn't being sarcastic either. So that was good.

B) It's funny how people treat people differently according to their perceived social status. While I was getting my complaint filed, a lady came in to give the constable some information on a piece of paper. Some senior officer had asked for it and told her to give it to the constable. He was quite rude to her and told her to sit down, mentioning that if she had waited one and a half months to report a missing ration card, could she not wait one and a half hour?
I dunno how really to react to this but the lady being of a lower class and being a lady on top of that, was instantly submissive. She knew better than to antagonise him as well.
I wonder a little though...whether she was just being sharp and smart with this response (which I believe might have been the case) or just oppressed and submissive? (though these "lower class" women can give as good as they get in verbal terms, if they want to.) I dunno. There's no real reaction to this but it just struck me...how we just assume those differences and the roles are settled into quite quickly and unconsciously...

C) A man came in to complain that someone had stolen two manhole covers near his house. He'd come once previously to complain about one missing cover. Someone at the station had only noted it in his diary then. Would they not register a complaint now that two more had gone missing?
These things are heavy and fetch a good price at the pawn shop. The things people do...

D) Apparently there had been a random stone throwing incident in a place where we'd driven through to get to the police station when Frankie dropped me off there...

Hmm...

So yeah...just as long as this particular section was, the ordeal was long but it was all finally written down on official looking paper. I asked for my copy, only to be told that it required some sort of registration number on it, which was only available at the big police precinct and I'd have to come back in the evening to collect it.

Whee...

Mr. P and I went back to school. I apologised to him for having made him sit through that but his company was quite helpful and I'm pretty sure it was a novel and learning experience for him as well.
In the next post, I write him a small appreciative essay!

Off we went to school, where unfortunately Mr. P was not able to see his papers as his teacher was not around. I offered to treat him to lunch as a thank you for being there but his grandma wasn't interested in having leftovers at home...so off he went...I owe him a lunch...

I wasn't too hungry myself though and as I got to school, I learned that there was no power...so my lesson wouldn't have gone on anyway...I babysat a class through another scheduled lesson and then headed home.

1.20 pm - I discussed the situation with some of my teachers and got their advice. Called dad to check up on status of credit cards etc and asked what else I ought to do...

2.30 pm - Having covered all possible bases and needing to wait for my copy of the FIR...I head home and to sleep...




To be continued...

Reflections on...Friendship

So yes, I know the last post was supposed to be this one but I just *had* to note down/share the Ostrich idea!

So here we go now - some quotations on friendship I liked...

Frances Ward Weller
A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.

Unknown
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Danish proverb
A road to a friend's house is never long.

Unknown
Similarities create friendship's while differences hold them together.

Benjamin Disraeli
The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.

George Eliot
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.

John Churton Collins
In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.

Edgar Watson Howe
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

Katherine Mansfield
I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.

Unknown
True friendship is seen through the heart not through the eyes.

Unknown
Friends are the siblings, God never gave us.

Charles Caleb Colton
True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.

David Tyson Gentry
True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

Elbert Hubbard
Never Explain — your Friends do not need it and your Enemies will not believe
you anyway.

Unknown
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.

Unknown
If you were another person, would you want to be a friend of yours?

Unknown
Friendship is a responsibility....not and opportunity.

Unknown
Friends are those who speak to you after others don't.

Unknown
The way to have friends is to be willing to lose some arguments.

Unknown
If a friend makes a mistake, don't rub it in....rub it out.

Unknown
You will never find a friend if you must have one without faults.

Unknown
Doing nothing for your friends results in having no friends to do for.

Unknown
A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself, lets you forget it.

Unknown
A friend is a person who listens attentively while you say nothing

Unknown
A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though you're slightly cracked.

Anaïs Nin
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Aldous Huxley
One of the principal functions of a friend is to suffer (in a milder and more symbolic form) the punishments that we should like, but are unable, to inflict upon our enemies.

Richard Bach
Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

Homer
The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

Len Wein
A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.

Elbert Hubbert
A friend is the person who knows all about you and still loves you.

Louisa May Alcott
Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.

Robert Brault
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

Chinese Proverb
To attract good fortune spend a new penny on an old friend, share an old pleasure with a new friend and lift up the heart of a true friend by writing his name on the wings of a dragon.


Well...I know I said *some* but oh well... *grin*

My newest aim in life!

Well, perhaps not an aim but something to put on my travel "to do" list.

Go to South Africa (already on the list) and ride an ostrich! (newly on the "to do" list!)

Yes!

In the next post...

Reflections on Friendship...
And an idea...

I'm covering some English classes and for that, I've needed to put together a 100 word piece expanding on the topic of friendship.

As I looked around for suitable proverbs, I came across some interesting ones.
I will post them in here in my next post.

And as I picked other people's brains for ideas, Duckie gave a suggestion which I shall follow.

Following the quotations, I'm going to post pieces written by my friends, about their thoughts on friendship.

If you read this and I have not contacted you (yet) - then please send in a piece if you would like to contribute to this endeavour. The guidelines are:

• Give your thoughts on friendship and what it means to you
• No need to be specific to our friendship. In fact, being general might be better
• Minimum/required 100 words. Originally, it was going to be 100 word limit but that's difficult. So feel free to use as many as you like. 100 would be appreciated as the minimum
• Use of a proverb/saying/quote is recommended but not required
• Please send them in as soon as possible. For people I have contacted or will be contacting soon, I'd like it if you started sending in your contribution by the weekend. You know my email id. If you don't ask for it. Please indicate in that if you want to be expressly credited for your work with name, real name, nick name or nothing at all...

I hope this works out. It should be fun!

Reflections on...food

Hmm....
There's definitely something about good food that can make one happy...

Flavours are fun and they are fantastic as well!

For the last couple of weeks, the teachers in school have been having lunch parties. They divided themselves into groups and treated everyone. I was lucky enough to freeload on this deal...

Anyway...these parties were for the entire secondary staff, including the clerks and the peons and the बाईs or मावशीs (aunties) as they are now called. This was pretty good on part of the teachers and a couple of times, the staff requested the मावशीs to make the food and they always were fantastic about it...
Once the entire teaching and clerical staff had finished their turns, the peons surprised everyone by saying they wanted to treat us to lunch as well.

And what a treat it was! पिठ्ल भाकरी, मिर्चिचा खरडा, पापड़, सुरळीची वडी, कांदा, मसाले भात and topped off with some melon as हानुमान जयंती प्रसाद and ice cream!

The whole thing was fantastic and had so much taste and flavour in it. This is only the outcome of making food with all their heart in and the love and affection that these very simple people, simply feel for those around them.

Fantastic!

It made my day and I won't forget it in a hurry....


Also, recently, I started getting bored with my (self imposed...sort of) limited range of culinary creations at home and decided that I needed to do something about it.
As a result, I've started increasing the range of ingredients I use and actually moving closer to a more homely taste of food than one which is more suited to convenience...
(Eh...convenience is a matter of perception anyway - what I call inconvenient...someone else might call lazy...)

Anyway...along with newer ingredients, I've also started expanding the side dishes I use and so, I made some chutney today (well...put my grandma to work, making it and watched...but next time it'll be all me) and it turned out very well...
Corriander, dried coconut, green chillies, salt, sugar, cumin and raw mango!

So with the chutney, it was a nice potato preparation (well spiced with cumin and ginger), rice and curd!

Yum!

So yeah...flavours are fun and food makes me happy.

Today, I'm a happy puppy! :-D

Reflections on...pain and pretentions...

Hmm....
The post on friday never come but the lesson is important.

We were playing Ultimate and one of our friends fell down and started yelling.
One of the other kids playing was quite skeptical about the injury and thought our friend was pretending...
I must admit that for the first few seconds, so was I.
But...

When someone screams in agony, in a public place and doesn't stop after you "called their bluff"

and

When the person in pain is not really known to be someone who'd be faking something like this...

It's time to be less disbelieving and more caring...

Our friend dislocated his knee. Just like that. Just standing there. No trauma, no nothing.
I asked him what I should do (this had happened before).
He said he'd just sit around and it'd get better. I was not sure about this but...as we stood him up, his knee popped back in...
Go figure...

Took him home on another friend's scooter (luckily it was a short one. Getting this guy on my bike would've been painful for all involved).
He's been to the doctor, given medication and advised rest. Also asked to wear a brace when playing.

How do knees just randomly pop out without trauma??

I think perhaps I should look at doing some sort of First Aid course in the near future...
Or at least gather good enough information to be knowledgeable about what exactly to do in such (and other) cases...

*sigh*

It's another one of those days...

I really detest being human at times...feelings etc...
I go back to wishing that there were happiness and nothing...

Now if wishes were horses...

I did learn something today...which will be posted later

And as I moped around online I saw the strip below...it made me smile :-)

What is mourning?

No updates for a few days.
Was away in Mumbai.
Got what I wanted to do, done. So that's a good thing...
Last couple of days...the topic of death and mourning cropped up a couple of times.

I was talking to one of my kids. He mentioned a special ceremony for his grandfather - 13 days after his passing.
It's a bit of a tradition - 13 days of mourning. I believe the scientific explanation goes something along the lines of...time required for the house to get disinfected from whatever death may bring in its wake.
Don't quote me on that though.
However, back to the point...the kid mentioned that he never knows what sort of face to put on at such occasions.
If you ask me...why should there be a face to "put on"? Why not be yourself?
Is it a rule that you must be somber, solemn, down in the dumps?
When my maternal grandfather died...the period of mourning was...wonderful! Nobody felt sorry for themselves or for him (he was in a better place). Instead, they shared stories and memories about him - essentially turning the mourning into a celebration of his life.
After a person has lived a long life...isn't that the way things ought to be done?
I can understand shock and grief if death occurs at a young age when it seems quite unfair.
Yet...people insist on being morose after a grand life has been lived.
Can't figure it out...

On a similar note...today, school was let out because some board member on the governing body died.
This person probably visited school once in recent (or any) history. He was not one of the names you usually hear in reference to the running of the school. He dies. You stop functioning?
How does life come to a standstill (in a matter of speaking) for random people who might not have even known this person? What does that achieve? Mourning? Mark of respect for what? Wouldn't it be a mark of respect to actually keep his work alive, even though he might not be anymore?
(I know that's overly melodramatic for just a one day closure but meh!)

Is it just me? Am I the only one that weird? Or is a random death a really poor excuse to shut down a place of learning?

I remember another time we were sent home from school because someone died. That was different. We ALL knew him. He had also died as the result of a road accident. People were in shock, dazed. A life taken away, his daughter - a schoolmate of ours - also snatched away.
One needs time to process this.

A natural death. Someone who we never saw/met...
Process what exactly here?

More vehicle witticisms...

So I'm in Mumbai over the weekend and a bit of early next week...got some work at the Uni.
As I came in today, saw this on the back of a rickshaw:

जल जीवन है - इसको बचाइए नाही तो जीवन जल जाएगा|

The RTO (Road Transport Office) in Mumbai started printing some social awareness slogans on the back of rickshaws some time ago but while those mostly dealt with educating females, this one was quite clever I thought...

It translates as: "Water is life. Save it or life will burn."

The clever word play here is on the word जल (pronounced: jull like in mull) - which means water but the verb जलना (pronounced: jullnaa) means to burn and its conjugation is used quite effectively in there...


Neat!

A purpose...found?

So in this last week, I've talked to a couple of people about my plans for the future...

One of them was my ex ex principal, Mrs. Madhavi Kapur. Principal of SPM till the end of my year 4 (~1995) and then Principal of the RB Academy until recent times, she is an extremely dynamic lady, miles head in her way of thinking and a born educator...
I happened to run into her at a speaker's session a couple of weeks ago - eminent personalities in various fields came together to talk about the school of their dreams - how it would be, what they would do...and the such.
It had been nearly 13 years since I'd last seen her...but her charm is still as enveloping as it was earlier.
An earnestness for her profession exudes from her like an all encompassing aura. Everyone she touches, just can't help but think about certain things differently...
That day, we scheduled a follow up meeting and that took place on wednesday...

I talked to her about where I currently stand with my outlook at the future and the such.

I wonder if you have ever had the feeling that you just *knew* what you wanted to do and it felt right?
Up until now, I had always thought about professions as a multiple choice variable - picking stuff that I knew I would be decent at and would be able to do. I always go the feeling that while I'd like doing certain things, I'd only know how good I'd be once I started doing them...
Now as far as teaching goes...I believe I can say that I have found my vocation...my calling...
It just *feels* right to do it and I enjoy it to boot.
The funniest part of this is, teaching was never on the list of professions to choose from. Without knowing whether I'd be any good, and partly just on a lark, I got in and now...I know that is what I would want to do.

However, I'm also a utilitarian person to a certain extent.
I blame my father for exposing me at an early age to a virus known as the travel bug. Having been bitten, the only way to get it truly out of your system is to show the bug everything it wants to see. Mine has a list of about ten different trips. Pesky bug...
Also, travelling on a teacher's salary...that is just not going to happen...

One of the other people I talked to about this was my Law teacher at Indira.
He was talking about how perhaps visiting as faculty in B-schools gives me more leeway with time and also salary.
It IS one of the options on the new "Education-centric" list of options. I told him however, that I doubted whether I could demand a job as visiting faculty (my subject would be Organizational Behaviour) without some experience under my belt.
He called me an idiot... :P
He also mentioned about teaching English in China, Japan or Europe...where people would be more willing to hire me and pay for transport etc while I am still single...
Certain travel can also only be done while one is young and single. So...let's see...

However, my law teacher did say something I already knew but he put it in words...knowing what your vocation ought to be...is very liberating; and once you decide to go into any sort of teaching...you know you're doing it for the right reasons...
Since money isn't a good reason to teach (for there is practically none) - that's a bad one.
However I think I'm good to go as far as that is concerned because I won't teach until I have earned and spent whatever money is required for me to travel...

However, with what my law teacher said and with meeting Mrs. Kapur, I seem to have found a purpose...at least for the short and mid term future(?)
Originally I intended to study for the next three years, work for another 5 to 8 before transitioning into teaching...
Now perhaps, I come back in three or so, with a teacher's certification and start work right away.

I knew Mrs. Kapur would say it and she did. One of my main concerns was the acceptability of foreign teacher certification here...Mrs. Kapur said..."just come to me and we'll work it out. We'll find ways to break the rules..."
Hah. She's always been a maverick and she will die one...though...may she live a long life! (full of success - but that's another story)
She also said that if you put in your all in your work, the money comes.
I said - well, I could always become one of the education sharks and start a coaching class.
Her response - BAD IDEA!

Of course...the future isn't known to anyone and no one ought to know better than me that the best laid plans can go awry but...my life seems to have been leading up to these last couple of years...
It is fatalistic to think like that...yes but it just seems to make sense...

It is indeed...liberating!


(Disclaimer: This post was brought to you with the slightest suspension of reality and the quickest dash of fantasy. The originator is not responsible for plans unravelled or dreams shattered at a latter point in time. Thank you.)

An allergy to immaturity...

*sigh*

Sometimes you just like a person for no good reason. Then they go and say and do stuff which annoys the hell out of you.
You still like this person...but it just makes you wonder for a while, doesn't it - where this is going?

I've previously had an incident like this where I didn't talk to a friend of mine for over two years...because he said some things which were unnecessary...I tried to clarify the situation...he didn't want to talk to me...
I wrote a letter...he replied! The reply was a brick wall falling down on me...which essentially said: "We will not be discussing this again in any way, shape or form."
We did not.
I was a little petty in the bargain but eventually we decided to let bygones be just those...and just started talking one day and things are good now. We still don't discuss that. I'm still very fond of him, if a little weary...but time has done its thing and he is a little less weird (or perhaps I'm a little more understanding/less weird myself...or both) and we get along fine now.

But...at times...you just wonder if something is worth expending oodles of energy on...if there's no capacity for understanding...

Have you ever had a friend who:

Could not understand what you were trying to say to him?

Would not understand what you were saying to him?

Is it too bad or too much to want a friend to grow?
I'm not expecting change just because I ask for it. That would be unhealthy.
I don't expect change at all, perhaps. What I expect is just a sympathetic ear...but perhaps sometimes it's too much to ask...

I had a conversation with a friend this evening which had all of the above salient points. It annoyed me.
That led to a change in my orkut nickname and the following conversation (pasted below) with another friend.
Oh...the annoyances of humanity...

-x- start -x-

bhataish: so u annoyed due to something else?
Aditya Joshi: yes...
bhataish: hmmm
bhataish: wish to share it?
Aditya Joshi: not particularly
bhataish: ok
Aditya Joshi: my orkut nick reflects my feeling
Aditya Joshi: there's not much anyone can do about it
Aditya Joshi: if someone cannot (does not have the capacity to) understand what you are saying or does not want to hear/understand
Aditya Joshi: how can you help it, right?
bhataish: ya right...
Aditya Joshi: so even getting too annoyed over it is not too helpful
Aditya Joshi: but that's the price one has to pay for being human...
bhataish: true..
Aditya Joshi: i don't like being human...
bhataish: ohhh
bhataish: come on
bhataish: thats not right...
Aditya Joshi: hehe
Aditya Joshi: well, there are definitely times that i don't
bhataish: now thats you!!!
Aditya Joshi: there should be happiness
Aditya Joshi: and then - where annoyance and sadness are concerned...there should just be nothing...
Aditya Joshi: it shouldn't matter
Aditya Joshi: we should just be like: That's OK! and go on...
bhataish: you can't just have happiness...
Aditya Joshi: it's not just happiness
Aditya Joshi: it's happiness and nothing
Aditya Joshi: nothing as in - no matter
bhataish: then?
Aditya Joshi: all is OK
Aditya Joshi: i'm not happy
Aditya Joshi: but I'm not unhappy either
bhataish: oh....

-x- end -x-

Hmm...perhaps that list of nothingness should include anger as well...

Oh the annoyances of humanity...

E-lec-trick!

Lightning and thunderstorms make me go tingly all over.
We didn't have a thunderstorm this evening but some really brilliant lightning.
Didn't get to take any pics myself but I scrounged some up from the web and as a tribute to this evening's show, I present to you some E-lec-trick pics!

Whee!!

Reflections on...familiarity...

So today I was watching a show called Waterloo Road on BBC Entertainment.
They've been showing the series for a while and it's started all over again...so I caught the very first ep...
It was interesting. It introduces us to a whole slew of characters in a struggling school...you MUST have drama to make telly interesting, eh?

[Though as an interesting aside, we had a visitor from a UK school visit us, three weeks ago. I mentioned wanting to work as a teacher and commented on the difference in culture between the west and here. I said I'd be hard pressed for control in western schools, since despite being hooligans, Indian kids are still brought up differently and are willing to listen to their elders...I gave the show as an example...but he said that that's not the typical case. In fact, he called it a terrible show.
Yet...people keep making shows on schools - Boston Public, Waterloo Road etc etc. - and others watch...art does imitate life...yet hopefully not entirely...]

OK...the aside done with...what this post is about is: the new deputy teacher introduced in the ep is sorta my kind of guy...similar hang ups with similar beliefs (I think) and though I don't necessarily agree with a certain thing he said, it made me ponder on something I had a chat about, with one of my teachers in school, just earlier today...

The deputy head in the show said: "Familiarity breeds contempt" - in reference to being addressed on a first name basis by a co teacher.
Earlier in the day, I was sitting in the staff room, I happened to discuss certain "challenging" students with one of my teachers. We were talking about kids who act up but still listen when they are talked to. I am of the opinion that no kids are really dumb. Most will listen - the key is...you need to put what you're saying in a way which will make them want to listen...
My teacher happened to mention that while that is true, perhaps the kids are more open with me since I play with them...
I've already addressed this in a previous post...and it has actually gotten good results.
However sometimes though, I do see kids pushing the bar...but I believe I've always made clear what are the boundaries of random cheek and where one becomes actually rude and I believe I've been able to enforce them pretty well...
Of course, there will always be those one or two kids who still attempt to push the limits...
Made me wonder though...whether there is an actual down side to being a laid back kind of person.

There was an incident yesterday where I was invited to a party at one of my kids' place and one of his other guests was trying to get a rise out of me. Eventually...he said something unnecessary in front of the parents...that's where I just put my foot down and said that we would not be having anymore on that subject. Thankfully...he did give in and after that, he let up on the idiocy. This kid is one of the more challenging ones...not his fault one could say...there are ...issues...
One one hand...perhaps the kidding should not have started at all...on the other...I'm grateful that he did let up when I asked him to...

Well, the point of this post is...what kind of teacher am I?
Well...the sort who gives plenty of slack - but no second chances...
Is that good? Is that bad? Essentially what I'm saying here is...I play out enough rope to let the kids hang themselves with...though I do make it clear what the rope entails...
Hah.

However...I don't know what brings on these periods of self doubt. For the last few years, I've understood and maintained that I am well aware of what my strengths and abilities are and what my weaknesses are. This confidence in my self can be taken as arrogance as some. However, the fact remains...that consistency in action and achievement speak louder than words...People still come to me when they want certain work done...

So...I know I'm a good teacher. Perhaps it is an outcome of having gotten to teach at my own school. Were it a different place, perhaps the situation might have been different. However...perhaps not.
I pride myself on learning from others' actions and as I teach, I always think about what I would have liked my teachers to have done better or not done at all and I look to put that into practice.
Perhaps I succeed...yesterday was the last day of exams and the year for the kids...I got (another) hand made card saying "I will miss you" - from a fifth grader.
It is little things like this that make it worthwhile...
I have no illusions about being liked by everyone. That would be unhealthy but even one out of fifty expressing themselves like this...is worth its weight in gold...

Just some thoughts going through my head...
Any thoughts of your own?

On a parting note...here's something I'd like to share with you:

Ooh look! Something shiny!

Ever a sucker for some new bells and whistles, please notice that there are a couple of new additions to the blog.

Just above the blog archive, immediately to the right -------> you have some nice piccies of things around the world...
I love to travel! :-)

And on the same sidebar, at the bottom...there's a gadget called Points to Ponder...which amuses me and sorta reflects the random nature of this blog...to a certain extent.

Excuse the ads...they are the PRICE one has to pay for bells and whistles but they should at least be out of sight on the PtP gadget...

Let me know though if they (ads, more specifically) are jarring...

A random double whammy!

I sit here bored today...
I have a couple of things I ought to be doing but I'll be damned if can get myself around to doing them...
So...I just veg about and poke friends, randomly annoying them and making them talk to me...with a certain degree of success.

The following are two results of the poking:

One of my friends just got a bonsai recently.
I asked her what it was? She said it's Elephant Foot. This plant is found mostly in Mexico.
She bought it in an IKEA store.

YES!

A Japanese concept, applied to Mexican fauna, in a Swedish store in the US of A!
Now *that's* globalization for you!

On another note - my friend mentioned that it's only for show. The bonsai link says those plants need plenty of care.
Already, the plant will feel unloved because it's "only for show" and despite being bored and where she should go take of the plant, my friend is sitting around talking to me...
I feel sorry for the poor thing...


Speaking of feeling sorry for poor things...(?)
Duckie linked me to the following comic -

Go here and tell me what YOU think happens to the kittens.

Duckie and I have had a discussion on it...but perhaps I will wait for some responses first before I put it up.
If anyone knows how to link a post so that it doesn't show up in its entirety, let me know....so next time there can be a spoiler alert...

Man...april might be a busy month if boredom catches me like this.
Though hopefully I get some work done SOON!

Reflections on...words

Words are funny. The other day I was just telling someone that one only gets bothered by words if they decide to be bothered. Words have meanings only because we assign it to them. If we decide not to assign meanings to certain words or certain people's words...perhaps life might be easier...though then the trap of making it into a dangerous habit also opens up...

I got the quote below from my daily AWAD mailing.
It's an interesting one...


The appropriately beautiful or ugly sound of any word is an illusion wrought

on us by what the word connotes.

-Max Beerbohm, writer, critic, and caricaturist (1872-1956)

Reflections on...wistfulness

So Monday would be last day of school with the kids for me.
Last paper...and I will be supervising.
Sure, I'll see some in the hols. Might even go back once or twice in June for a few things but..essentially...it's a last day around them for me.

I was supervising yesterday and I found myself growing...not sad, not bitter, not depressed but more wistful...
Wondering when I'd see all these kids again. Imagining what they would look like in their new uniforms after grade 8.
Those who would pass out...those not yet in secondary (though except for three/four of those, none know me...)

It is a bear to let all of this go. The attachment is killer.
Sometimes I wonder if it would've been better without the attachment.
But then, perhaps I would not have been as good a teacher as I have been. (not big headed here...just working on feedback gotten from kids, parents and teachers alike...).

I finally believe I have found my vocation.
Previously, all thoughts about jobs were always along the lines of "let's try this or that. See how it goes and how interest holds." Sometimes I find myself getting overwhelmed as I sit and think about transitioning from student to professional life. However...were that transition into the post of a teacher, I think I would have no problems at all...
But with travelling being a driving motive...teaching in high school right off the bat is not an option...Teachers just aren't paid that well...
One option is teaching in B-schools but will need some industrial experience first before I can offer myself up as expert faculty....

In some ways though...perhaps I'm leaving at the right time...before the attachment becomes...a dependency...
I've already mentioned somewhere else that I seem to leach energy from the kids. On days I go to school, I will have invariably have a good day (when responding on IM) and on others, I would have an OK day...
Just some things I noticed once...funny but intriguing....and true...

Oh well...it's been a fantastic couple of years and I've learned a lot...hopefully the experience will lead to something in my future than just the one off fling.

Let's see....