Perspectives again...

Here follows a short log of a conversation I had with a cousin today.
It is mostly here for me to reflect on the things I (now) believe in. These things were not always the same. During the recent months I have noticed that I seem to have some inner source of optimism that I did not know existed previously. Perhaps it didn't. Life has never been disappointing, in fact it has been very good. Yet, for some reason I was conditioned for a long time to lower expectations about things highly wished for (and some not so much) that it was never a disappointment when they didn't happen and always a sense of pleasure and relief when they did happen the way they were wished for.
Is this the result of a child's fancifulness? Wishing for things which cannot be - leading to lowering expectation?
Is it inborn? I do not know.
Does everyone go through it. I suspect this is more or less true...in varying degrees and at varying times.

What has changed? I am not aware.
Maturity of mind, body, spirit, experience? Perhaps all and more...or all leading to a greater whole... Is it the school experience? Not likely but what helped during that experience was probably this budding spring of optimism.

By a quirk of fate(?) we're studying control and confidence in our Motivation class. There is a concept called Learned Optimism - it talks about learning to be optimistic through cognitive restructuring. This strikes closest home. The cognitive school of thought in psychology appeals greatly to me and my thoughts run in the following manner for now.

[start log]

Aditya says:
to go off on a little garden path: is your pessimism useful?
Caprice says:
it's a case of : 'if i keep my expectations low, then it will usually not work out to be that bad!'
Aditya says:
i know what you mean
Aditya says:
i know exactly what you mean
Aditya says:
but (and i found this upon reflection recently and i really was surprised) realism and pessimism are not one and the same
Caprice says:
no?
Aditya says:
the surprising part of that reflection is how much of an optmist i (seem to) have become
Aditya says:
there's a good belief in your own ability and the knowledge that you have given your goal your best effort
Aditya says:
it is tempered by the acceptance and knowledge of the fact that life's vagaries sometimes dictate outcomes and not everything happens the way you want
Aditya says:
yet, from my experience, things seem to work out for the best
Aditya says:
i'm not saying that our destinies are predetermined
Caprice says:
i just need to choose a goal to give my best effort to! that is mainly the problem here..
Aditya says:
but perhaps that the paths before us and even the choices are determined
Aditya says:
but when we need to make that choice, we are pushed gently towards what works out best
Aditya says:
i realise this is idealistic and doesn't explain an iota of what's wrong with the world
Aditya says:
BUT
Aditya says:
and whether this is mean or not (it's definitely selfish) - the rest of the world is not our concern
Aditya says:
our concern is to be the best we can, do the best we can
Aditya says:
hope that others do their best as well
Aditya says:
and either the world calms down because everyone does their bit
Aditya says:
or you through your actions make your world (and others') a little better every day
Aditya says:
if not better, at least not worse
Caprice says:
yes, that is a very good outlook to have
Aditya says:
i will be honest with you. i have no idea where it came from
Aditya says:
i didn't even realise i had it until about a couple months ago
Aditya says:
but it makes sense
Aditya says:
*shrug*
Caprice says:
yup!
Caprice says:
i think i've heard that before somewhere
Aditya says:
heard what?
Aditya says:
i've not been sermonising to you before
Caprice says:
that if we all focus inwards, the outward world will also improve!
Aditya says:
no! it's not a matter of focusing inwards
Aditya says:
that (to me) indicates going into a shell.
Aditya says:
let your energies come out of you
Aditya says:
look at YOU, the entire you, not just the inner you
Aditya says:
and the rest should follow
Aditya says:
if not by example, at least for (most) of your experience

[end log]

So yeah do your best, with both ability and effort, and just see what happens. Be prepared for the possibility of failure but even slightly wonky dice rolls can be made to work in our favour with proper effort, planning and strategy!

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain! It's time to throw the dice!