This post is a long time in the making...
It actually started fermenting when I first gave my "year book" to the kids last year... to collect their thoughts and memories for me... as I prepared to leave Pune, for MS and other things...A lot of people asked me why I was leaving... when I'd be back...
The reasons back then were simple...
Every single day in Pune, there's an attempt on my life! The traffic is ridiculous at best, the roads are packed, if not with vehicles, then with holes...Pune has ceased to be a laid back place and it hasn't changed for the better... at least not for me... not for now...
Been to Mumbai. People claimed once I'd tasted Mumbai life, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
That's not necessarily true. True, there are many things in Mumbai which are very easy to get used to ... however, I won't miss it...
Having said all of that... traffic wise, Mumbai is the lesser (sort of) of two evils...
Much more volume... yet more discipline... perhaps forced by lack of manouvering space but discipline nonetheless...
At least such used to be the case... just today, as I rode in on my bike, I saw people running red lights, crossing roads before getting the green.
So... who knows?
So... who knows?
Then where do I want to be?
Away from ALL of this?
Well...I'm headed away from all of this... far away...
Is that where I want to be? For now? For ever?
Two years ago... if one had asked me what I felt about settling down abroad, I'd have said... I neither aim to settle there, nor am I averse to it.
Now, with the experience of these last two years, my answer is... I'll be back!
At least for a little while, in a little while...
I want to teach. I'm pretty sure I don't want to teach western children... they're not bad (kids can't be all bad, eh?) - they're just not raised the way we are - as an aspiring teacher... my style has evolved from my own experiences as a pupil and I aim to fill in the gaps as I see them.. Never having been a western pupil... I lack the necessary knowledge...
So yeah... the plan is... 2 years of MS - 1 year of teacher certification (IB looks like a frontrunner for that right now) - 5 years of work to establish industry experience and credentials.
This has a twofold purpose - earn a gob of money I can blow on travel and also - the established credentials will be a platform for re entry into corporate life, should I choose to do so after teaching.. or even during...
8 years down the line.. teach. The deadline for that is... 10 years or bitterness, whichever is earlier...
People have said to me: You'll get married, have a family... what about the wife? her aspirations? the kids?
Well... I'm happy to run the house if my wife will earn the big money. I have no issues with that.
I like to believe I'm interesting enought that I could get a wife who *could* make big money whilst I teach (read: engineer, IT, doctor...).
People then asked: What if your wife felt that you were underachieving...
Well... firstly, I believe that any person who agrees to spend the rest of their life with me... will know me quite well when they decide that... by the time this decision is made... they will know what the deal is... what the package they're getting in me...
If push comes to shove... then I'm not going to stick resolutely to teaching.. that's silly...
At the same time.. if everything pans out well and I'm not bitter or bored or lacking money after 10 years of teaching... I'd continue...
So to get back to the point...
What do I feel about leaving?
Am I heavy hearted? Teary eyed?
No...
The feeling is mixed... there's a tinge of wistfulness... a hidden spark of excitement... the near future is an adventure and a potentially thrilling one... the not so distant future is planned for... as best as it can be for now... the distant future... is just that... distant...
I will miss school. I will miss the kids. I suppose that will happen especially so when I sit idle.
Yet... with grad work... I understand the work keeps you busy and that will be a boon.
I've been wondering at times how I'd get back to study after such a lengthy break... yet as I imagined it on the ride in to Mumbai today... it seemed OK - almost inviting - a return to routine, where you're occupied, time flies, you learn and you grow - no time for brooding, loneliness or heavy hearts...
Today as I went about closing the house down... the phrase: "for the last time"... kept creeping in in everything I did... yet there is power in the word and something kept adding "at least for two years" to those thoughts...
Trembly lipped perhaps but never quite heavy hearted or leaky faucet I made it to Mumbai.
Two things help with this stoicity(?) I suppose...
I don't necessarily get attached to places as much as I do to people...
And well.. I spent a lot of good, quality time with the people I care about and have fantastic memories... which ought to last me two years... before I come back...
So that's it... a few months ago, I had an entire rant ready about roads, drivers, pollution etc. - with an appended note that of course I'd never leave Pune entirely - too many strings attached - places, people, friends, relatives etc...
(A new seed has been sown yesterday - something which might yet go deeper and pull me back with its long tendrils... but until that creeps along.. watch this space...)
However, now... the situation is: Ah'll bi baack! No addendums...
But like I said... the distant future is still... distant...
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Hopefully coming up in the next few days...
- A post on 'Power in the Word' - something touched upon in today's post.
- Reflections on Pune - might be long, might be short, might be entirely consisting of adjectives like brilliant, great and fantastic... though in perhaps less obvious contexts
- I never gave my summary/retort/reflections on the whole Friendship month thing... perhaps that will occur... perhaps we will have a relapse on friendship itself... though thoughts on Unconditional Friendships and Leaps of Faith....
Last time I made a list like this... none of the posts got written... but I aim to do better this time... and with less work in Mumbai and less people to distract me.. it might just happen...
I might just as easily get bored and decide to hibernate...
Are you feeling lucky??
8 comments:
Traffic?? You are leaving pune because of traffic?? How shallow, wait till you meet the demons in US then this traffic will seem like a childsplay. :P
There is no shame to accept that you are going for your gains and benifits.Everyone does that and natural behavior.You are writing this as you have travel plan.Its like I have a gold cup now trash the silver one. Forget that you drank from the silver one for years.
Elaborate the last two lines, would you?
I'm trashing the gold cup??
What if it becomes tarnished?
And what of my decision to come back with some polish??
I am not some moral police or something. I am not opposed to people leaving or any weird thing like that. Just dont blame pune for your leaving. You wanted to go and you are.
You have a better option (gold cup) with so you dont like the old one (silver)so thrash the old one and blame it.
Hmm I am sure you ll courier some good polish (money) here but many few come bearing it back themselves
Stop being so cynical!
And I'm not alluding to Pune being the reason for me leaving India...
It's the roads that make me want to leave Pune.
I've mentioned I'd rather settle in Mumbai than in Pune in the long run... until the whole teaching thing started...
If teachers had well paying jobs, I'm ready to enroll in B.Ed tomorrow!
Sadly... that doesn't happen... so I finish my current priority of travel (it's limited) and then switch...
Leaving India to settle either is neither a goal, nor an aversion - at this point ... yet I *will* be back because I want to teach. Whether I remain after the teaching is in the distant future and unplanned for...
Are we on the same page now?
Its not cyncism its experience. I am an astrologer and have seen this film played hundreds of time with many people.
Anyway wish you great luck for your endeveour, jupiter grant you your wishes. Bye
Yes... I read about your astrological pursuits.
However... don't equate me with others simply out of shared collective experience...
If you had some data on me and then were saying it... that's a different story but I have not given you any empirical data for the prediction, eh?
Anyway... yeah... thanks for the wishes... keep reading and we'll see how good your non data based predictions are ;)
As astrologers we are taught human psychology in very detail and various aspects in relation with planets in chart.
Well without any data my clairvoyance makes the prediction that
"You will never return" hehe
you are welcomed :)
Oh!
There is power in the word!
Never say never!
What exactly do you mean by never return?
Never return but be happy there?
Or...? You must know human psychology is fragile... don't leave it hanging ominously!
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