Reflections on...bluntness

An early post today...
This post is brought to you courtesy of the boredom caused by Mr. W.
I came to college today to learn that the marketing management lecture (which is taken by a clown - more on him when I get sufficiently frustrated...) was replaced by a Quality Management Systems lecture (which is taken by a dolt - NO rants about him. It's not worth my time...)

So yeah...my morning started with me swearing out in general but the good thing about this is that the "lecture" (read: random, non-directed ramble with me and my friends creating a generally convenient ruckus when we can) is in the computer lab and I have a working internet connection. So whee!
If you're lucky, you might even get a second post later in the day...!


So yeah...bluntness.
We go back to perceptions of people right?
What one person may perceive to be blunt, others may see as being straightforward.

I like to believe that I am a straightforward person. I call a spade a spade.
This is taken as being rude by a fair few people.
Now (going back to intentions), I never mean to be rude. The straight reason for my "bluntness" is the fact that I do not like misunderstandings. I do not want people to read anything in what I say, other than what the words imply explicitly. Too much has been said due to people interpreting tones and meanings as being other than what they actually are.

Now...people who take a little interest in getting to understand me - even a little...will eventually learn to discern the facts that I'm more sarcastic than rude and my sarcasm is blatant.
Sometimes, people who don't know me, find me rude fairly often.
My confidence in my abilities can come across as arrogant and rude.
I do not think I am over confident. I know what I can do and what I cannot. I know where to draw the line.

Then again, people who know me...should know me well enough that I don't mean harm, right?
Sometimes it surprises/amuses/vexes me when people whom I think are close enough to me to understand me decently well, find me rude.
I mean come on...one can only be close to someone else when they know that person quite well. So why should they be offended by supposed rudeness when it is not meant?
This doesn't happen all the time but does so at times and somehow I feel that it ought not to...
Expecting too much? Being unfair?
I don't know. I don't think so.

I suppose it's part of being human.
I will confess that for all MY straightforwardness, it pricks a little when people I feel close to are straightforward with me.
Originally, in school, the opinions of any third person would matter a lot to me.
Eventually I have learned to care only about the opinions of those I care about.
However, their criticism or "bluntness" sometimes hurt me.
Now, however, I try and take it in my stride, as an opportunity to grow. Not one to feel belittled or insecure by. It's a hard task but I think I'm winning the battle...

With people that don't matter...how does it matter that I'm being rude to them.
It ESPECIALLY annoys me when such people insist on keeping on talking with me and persist in playing the victim. Gluttons for punishment as they seem, talking to them is a punishment for me.
There are always those that won't take a hint and I am NOT rude enough to tell them to bugger off to their face. Unfortunately. Easier for me to tell that to a friend than an Annoyance.

All said and done, my philosophy these days is: If I care about people, I will explain my actions. I will also do so if they can be perceived wrongly by a majority of people. If random people talk, I don't care about their comments. They are welcome to say what they like. Unless they matter, their comments won't. I find that this keeps me fairly sane and happy. This is the confidence in my abilities again. Slowly, I even try and turn down the constant need of positive validation from others. Positive strokes are good. Positive validation is no longer really required...for the most part...

Arriving at this state takes work, yes but it's possible to get there and wonderfully liberating when you do.
Why is it so hard for others to arrive at the same place? Especially those who are around my age or older. It can only be a matter of convenience, right?
And well, there is no reason not to start early through and I try and help my students with these thoughts. Those who absorb them, great. Those who don't...also fine.

We're back at intentions. Why read meaning and subtleties where none are intended??
Are there any intentions other than good ones?

And I know I'm repeating myself...but how and when do friends realise that straightforwardness is good and is in no way meant to be rude...just....straight???

If you've come this far, you get 100 awesome points for surviving the ramble.